


Elasticity

by Hopeless_Case



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013), The Fosters (TV 2013) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Fluff and Angst, Friendship/Love, Homophobic Language, M/M, Original Character(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-17
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-05-27 07:31:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6275308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hopeless_Case/pseuds/Hopeless_Case
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As Jude Jacob begins his first year in a prestigious English boarding school he finds himself strangely drawn towards one of his new classmates.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Hey Jude!

 

“You nervous honey?”

“Eh a little I guess”

“It’s okay you really have nothing to worry about I know boarding school isn’t exactly your idea of paradise but this will really be good for you. You’ll make some great friends and I know that after you get settled in you’ll really enjoy it”

“Yeah….if you say so…”

Jude’s mother looked at her husband in the drivers seat giving him a silent queue to chime in on the conversation.

“Your mother’s right Jude. Some of my happiest memories are of this school when I was your age.”

Jude just nodded his head silently as they entered the main gate of the school he would call home for the next six years.

He had been here before of course, last year, twice. Firstly for the entrance exam and then once he was accepted he attended a brief induction day where he got to see Harlow Hall, the House he had been assigned to and got to meet Mr. Barlow the head of Harlow and some of his classmates.

As they parked up in the drive way Jude suddenly felt a terrible knot in his stomach. What if he hated it here what if he didn’t make any friends what if this was the biggest mistake of his life. His usual dry sarcastic temperament temporally replaced by blind panic.

They walked through the main door of Harlow Hall into a foyer where various ‘new boys’ and their parents were gathered. They were greeted by Mr. Barlow who Jude had to admit appeared perfectly pleasant not like the boarding school house masters you read about in books or old movies. This man seemed genuinely warm and was clearly trying his best to put the boys at ease.

“Welcome Jude and Mr & Mrs Jacob” he said with a bright smile on his face.

“Lovely to see you again Mr. Barlow” chirped Jude’s Mother.

What followed was about two and a half minutes of small talk that honestly Jude forgot the moment it was over. All he could think about was the unpleasant feeling in his stomach and the thought that in just a few minutes his parents would get back in their car and drive away leaving him here....alone.  
Of course it wasn’t the worst place on earth, Harlow Hall that is. It seemed reasonably homely enough for a boarding school but it was the little things…the smell for example, it just didn’t smell like home. The air was stale and artificial. Jude supposed he would get used to it.

Then all of a sudden Mr. Barlow tapped his glass to get everyone’s attention. After a brief speech where he welcomed everyone to College Wood Academy and specifically Harlow Hall. He instructed the parents to say their goodbyes and wished everyone a pleasant journey home.

‘We’ll miss you so much sweetheart”

Then why are you sending me to this glorified prison!

“Yeah I’ll miss you too” Jude responded

“For God sake leave the boy be, he’ll have a great time”

Jude’s father pulled him aside as his mother stood by the doorway

“If I can give you one word of advice, keep busy throw yourself into any and every activity you can. I know you’ll make some amazing friends here son. Be good and we’ll see you in a few weeks.”

“Bye sweetheart…we love you!” Jude’s mother squealed. (a little too loud for Jude’s liking)

“Pull yourself together mother!” Jude responded eliciting a brief smile from his mother.

“There’s that attitude I’ve come to know and hate”

Jude just shrugged his shoulders.

“Lets not make a scene I’ll see you in a few weeks now you better get going before you embarrass me more than you already have.”

With that both Jude’s parents let out a short laugh and turned away towards there car. His mother looking back several times before they eventually drove away.

Well that was an emotional rollercoaster. Jude thought.

He loved his parents but in a situation like this he just wanted all the drama to be over with so he could move on and discover just how truly miserable his life would be.

After another brief introduction by Mr. Barlow the new boys were introduced to Mr. Hennessy who was the assistant house master. He took all the new boys on a tour of the house showing them the kitchen and dining hall, the common room and then up to the dorms.

“Jacobs you are in room 2B with Mr. Miller.” he said

Jude walked into the room and was pleasantly surprised by the bright airy room that he found. His attention was immediately drawn to a rather short bond boy who was bent over unpacking a bag. He was quite geeky looking with thick black glasses but he had a pleasant smile and no doubt he was just as nervous as Jude was.

“Eh Hi I’m Jude”

“Oh Hi Jude, I’m Edward....Ed…I guess we’re roommates”

“I guess so”

What followed next was 10 of the most awkward minutes of Jude’s life as both boys tried to make small talk while simultaneously trying to figure the other one out. They exchanged information about what part of England they come from & what their father’s do for a living etc. The awkward interactions were eventually interrupted by their two next door neighbours Andrew and Aaron bursting through the door to introduce themselves.

Over the course of the next hour the four boys got to know one another and were getting on well when they were summoned down to an assembly in the dining hall.

As they made their way down stairs they noticed that the older boys had started to arrive and Jude couldn’t help but notice how big some of then were….they were giants in fact. Jude had always been a little self conscious about his appearance. Even at the grand old age of 12, he had noticed that he wasn’t as developed as some of the other boys his age. He wondered if he would ever get to be as big as some of the older boys he saw wandering around the house.

After another longer than necessary speech by Mr. Barlow where he emphasised some of the main House rules, everyone sat down to dinner which Jude thankfully found rather delicious. He had always been a bit fussy when it came to food, it was actually one of things he was most worried about but his mind was put at ease by his first experience of boarding school cuisine.

After dinner, the boys went back to their rooms to finish unpacking and it wasn’t long before it was time to go to sleep although Jude & Ed stayed up longer than they were supposed to once they discovered their mutual interest in video games and comic books. Eventually though the events of the day had taken their toll on the boys and they both drifted off to sleep.

The next morning Jude was awoken by the shrill alarm at 7am. The thoughts of hearing that every morning for the next six years made him horribly depressed but he eventually dragged his ass out of bed and went for a shower before making his way down for breakfast,

As this was the first full day of school, the morning would be spent with Mr. Hennessy as he showed the new boys around the various school buildings and class rooms. It wasn’t until after lunch that the boys had the first class of the day.

For Jude the first class was Math, not particularly Jude’s best subject but academics were his strong suit so he still surmised he was better than most of the others in the class. However the good times would not last long as next up was P.E. Definitely not Jude’s favourite subject.

Jude wasn’t much for sports he didn't even watch them on TV. He just found them slightly pointless and P.E. was nothing more than an opportunity for him to embarrass himself in front of everyone. The only physical activity he didn't completely hate was cross-country. It gave him time alone with his thoughts plus with luck he could use it to get out of other sports he found less appealing.

P.E. today was volleyball which to be fair could have been a lot worse. In fact things were going pretty well until about 10 minutes before the end of class when Jude got smacked straight in the face by a volleyball knocking him flat on his ass provoking a few laughs from the other boys.

“Shit I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to hit you so hard.” said a rather worried boy standing over him.

“Eh that’s ok…I should have been paying more attention.”

“Well I’t doesn’t look like I did any permanent damage.”

“Nah I’ve a thick head”

The boy reached out to help Jude up giggling slightly, as he did, Jude noticed that this boy was kind of well…..cute!. Jude had begun to notice recently how he found some boys…..interesting and although he didn’t like to dwell on such things he found it happening more often these past few months.

“I’m Niall”

“Oh Hi I’m Jude”

“Cool name so what House you in?”

“Eh Harlow Hall”

“Oh I’m in Clifton House. So you play rugby? Our two houses seem to have the fiercest rivalry in all of College Wood”

“Eh not really, rugby isn’t really my thing.”

“Well you should give it a try maybe we could play against each other and you could try to break my face for change.” Niall chuckled to himself slightly.

“Yeah….I’d like that” Jude smiled back probably for the first time all day.

As the two boys walked back to the changing rooms Jude definitely got the feeling that this Niall guy was someone of interest. Maybe it was his cute face, sparkling blue eyes or cheeky Irish accent but in any case Jude thought that maybe P.E. wouldn’t be so bad this year.

As he made his way to his last class of the day (science in case your were wondering) Jude thought to himself that he had made it through the first day relatively unscathed. With the exception of the volleyball incident things had gone pretty well. He hasn’t caused himself any major embarrassment or become a laughing stock so all in all he’d take that as a win.  
His only regret is that he really hadn’t made any new friends with the possible exception of Niall. But apart from that he hadn’t really spoken to many people except for having lunch with Ed and hanging out a bit with Aaron in between classes. Jude was always rather shy especially around new people but he as he walked through the door of his final class he was determined to make more of an effort, his fathers words from yesterday still ringing in his ears.

As he scanned the classroom, he could see most of the class settling down and could only make out one possible spare desk near the back of class. Approaching the desk he noticed a boy sitting in the next seat over. His head was buried in a book but Jude did notice that he had golden blond hair and was way too tanned to be English.

“Hi is there anyone in this seat?” Jude asked

The boy looked up.

“Eh… no I....I don’t think so” he replied

Jude smiled for a moment although he wasn’t entirely sure why.

Sitting down and searching his bag for his text book Jude reminded himself that he really should try harder to make friends. Turning to the boy again he said:

“Em….Hi I’m Jude by the way”

The other boy turned his head to face him seemingly surprised, obviously not expecting Jude to engage him in conversation. Still he gave Jude a warm smile and responded.

 

“Hey Jude…I’m Connor”


	2. Mister Popular

“Shit! where is it?”

“Hi… need a hand with something?”

“Oh no sorry I was just looking for the charger for my cell phone”

“Cell phone huh?…..You American?

“Eh yeah my name’s Connor”

“Ah Connor Stevens I know, I’m Niall I’m your roommate”

“Oh cool nice to meet you” Connor extended his hand to his new roommate who shook it politely. 

“So whereabouts in America you from?” Niall asked 

“California”

“That’s so cool! But what made you want to come here?”

“I didn’t! It was my dad’s idea” Connor responded. “Long story….so you’re what Scottish?”

“Nearly, I'm Irish. Oh and you can borrow my charger if you like”

“Cool thanks I must have packed it in one of my other bags.”

 

Connor spent most of the rest of his first afternoon in boarding school getting to know his new roommate. About 5 minutes after their initial meeting he began to feel relief that this guy wasn’t a complete psycho. In fact it was pretty obvious that he was a nice guy and since this was clearly all new to both of them they decided it would be best to stick together.

The next morning as they walked around campus during orientation. Niall turned to Connor.

“So what sports you play man?”

“Well back home I used to play baseball and I was pretty good at soccer too”

“Hmmm I doubt they have a baseball team here, you ever play rugby?”

“No never”

“Well the first practice is after class today maybe we should give it a try. It is one of the main sports here and our house take it pretty seriously.” Connor nodded his head but he had already gathered as much.

He had seen plenty of team photos on various walls in Clifton House and while he never played rugby before he thought it would be best to at least give it a try. Ever since their welcome lunch yesterday Connor had started to feel more and more homesick. He missed his friends, he missed his plentiful supply of video games, God he even missed his parents although he would never admit that to anyone. But he did think that sports would be a good way to make friends hopefully that would help take his mind of the yearning he had to return home to California.

He kind of suspected homesickness would be a problem before he came here. Despite outward impressions Connor was surprisingly sensitive, he always thought about things carefully and he was what his step mom lovingly described as ‘a worrier’. Still he liked to pretend that nothing bothered him and that he was just a typical boy but deep down he knew that that wasn’t the case. 

After having lunch with Niall and a few of the other new boys from Clifton House, Connor nervously set-out for his first class. Academics were not one of his strengths and he definitely felt inferior to the other boys in that regard. To be honest he felt like a fraud if it wasn’t for his father’s money there is no way a school like this would accept him. Still he had managed to make it through most of his classes without making a fool of himself. He had managed to survive by keeping his head down and pretty much not opening his mouth but he knew he couldn't keep that up for the next six years.....SIX YEARS!....Jesus!

As he walked toward his last class of the day he began to think of a survival guide for this time in College Wood. First he really needed to try extra hard on his school work. Maybe if he studies for an extra hour or two after school and at weekends he won’t feel so stupid if a teacher asks him a question and second he would try out for any sporting activity he could. If he couldn’t be an academic powerhouse he could at least be one of those popular jock types you see in high school tv shows….wait do they have jocks in England? Well if they do Connor was keen to enlist.

He walked into his final class of the day…..science. He was one of the first to arrive and after receiving a welcome from the teacher he eyed a seat towards that back of class hoping that by sitting there he could avoid any unwanted attention. Upon taking his seat he immediately retrieved his science book from his bag and opened it at the first chapter. He still had a few minutes before class would start and maybe if he read ahead it would help….I mean it couldn’t hurt right.

Approx 90 seconds later as most of the other boys and girls had taken their seats, he felt a presence to his right standing over him.

“Hi is there anyone in this seat?” 

Connor looked up to find a small dark haired boy standing somewhat awkwardly beside him.

“Eh… no I…I don’t think so” he replied

The boy sat down and immediately began searching his bag presumable for his text book. Connor looked over at him and smiled briefly to himself before turning his attention back to his own science book. His concentration was broken a few moments later when the boy to his right spoke again.

“Em….Hi I’m Jude by the way” he said in a somewhat shaky voice.

Jude….that’s a cute name Connor thought as he smiled for the second time in about 30 seconds. 

“Hey Jude…I’m Connor”

 

The bell rang at 3pm exactly, signalling the end of the final class of the day. Connor had a huge sense of relief the last class had gone well and he had even chatted to that Jude kid a few times while the teachers attention was elsewhere. As he packed away his stuff he turned to Jude.

“Well I’m glad that’s finally over!”

“Tell me about it!. I know we only had half a day of class but I’m already exhausted. I just want to head back to my dorm and crash”

“Yeah I wish I could do that we have our first rugby practice in a half hour”

“Oh you play?”

“Well no not really but I thought I’d give it a try….new school and all that. What about you?”

“What me! Play rugby!” Jude looked down at his body. “I’m not exactly built for it”

Out of the corner of his eye Jude spotted three or four girls whispering and staring over at the two of them as they exited the classroom.

“Looks like someone made an impression!” Jude said 

Connor raised his head. “ Oh you think they are checking us out?”

Jude let out a sarcastic laugh “Eh No I think they are checking you out”

Connor stopped and looked at Jude briefly “ I mean come on. Look at you…..and now look at me” Jude said before continuing down the hallway.

A slight frown came across Connor’s face upon hearing Jude’s words. Sure Jude had a rather slight frame but he was by no means unattractive…..wait what???……anyway.

“Hey wait up. So you wanna hang out for lunch tomorrow…..you know if you don’t have any plans….I mean if do it cool I just tho…?”

“Sure why not” Jude cut him off. Jude never had many friends in any of his previous schools and as Connor had made the effort he certainly wasn’t going to turn down the offer to get to know someone who seemed so nice.

“But you sure you don’t want to hang out with your fan club over there” Jude’s nodded in the direction of the school girls who were still whispering an giggling like well school girls.

“Nah….besides you’re easy to talk to”

Jude couldn’t help but smile at Connor’s last statement. He had always thought of himself as being a bit socially awkward…scratch that he knew he was a bit socially awkward. His quick sarcastic tongue had got him into trouble on more than one occasion.

“Okay I….I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then” 

“Cool here’s my phone save your number and I’ll text you in the morning” Connor said pulling his phone from his pocket and handing it to Jude. 

“Sounds good” 

With that Connor headed off to his first rugby practice which was a sport he found he had a certain flare for. Of course this wasn’t a surprise, after all Connor was quite athletic and most sports he tried he found he had a talent for. Still he really enjoyed the physical aspect of rugby and it took his mind off his ever growing home sickness at least for awhile.   
Back in their dorm room later that evening Connor was trying to make good on his promise to himself from earlier by getting a head start on his classes for tomorrow when Niall decided he would have some fun….

“So I hear we might have to change your name to Mister Popular.”

“Huh?”

“Well rumour has it half the girls in our year are all talking about some tanned American adonis. They say he's like a cross between a puppy and a baby seal on the cuteness scale. Any ideas who it could be?” 

“You’re crazy!”

“If you say so”

“I do….oh and speaking of which did I hear right that you knocked some poor kid unconscious with a volleyball today?”

“What!!!…that’s total bullshit. It was an accident and the guy was cool about it.”

“If you say so” Connor said turning his attention back to his text book

“I do…..So you wanna hang out for lunch tomorrow?”

“Eh I would but I kinda made plans”

“Wait what? Okay what’s her name?”

“What? No it’s nothing like that” 

“Yeah right you hussy!” Niall said raising his eyebrows at his roommate.

“Seriously I’m just hanging out with a guy from my science class. You are welcome to come along.”

“Oh no no no. I wouldn’t want to get in the way” Niall responded sarcastically 

“Suit yourself” Connor said once again returning to his text book. He knew that Niall wouldn’t be able to end the conversation on that note and sure enough about 15 seconds later while still staring at his own book he piped up.

“I can’t believe you dumped me and it’s only our second day here.”

Conor looked up at him briefly before turning back to his school work.

“Don’t worry I’lll make it up to you honey.”

“You better!”


	3. Contradictions

Jude let the hot water wash over him. It felt nice….relaxing….and he at least had a few moments of solitude which was something he had come to view as very precious recently. 

It was the end of his third week in College Wood, one of the most prestigious boarding schools in the whole United Kingdom. It has educated leading bankers, politicians, along with the children of many celebrities and even some minor royalty. Jude admitted that before he came here he just assumed the worst, he had seen far too many movies about boarding schools, about ritual humiliations and austere housemasters but as he stood there in the shower room on the second floor of Harlow Hall, he smiled as he thought to himself….this place really isn’t that bad.

Of course nothing here was really what he expected. College Wood was a far more welcoming place, each of the six boys and four girls houses seemed to have their own unique identity. Harlow for example had two distinct interests, music and sports neither of which Jude felt particularly talented at but that didn’t seem to be a big deal. 

Indeed when Jude thought about, it was the friends that he made over the last three weeks that really made him feel at home here.

There was Edward, his roommate who Jude constantly thought of as a teddy bear with glasses and blond hair. Ed was oblivious to the fact that he was totally adorable, and so, he was a nervous wreck around any mildly attractive girl he interacted with, a fact that Jude had begun to tease him about mercilessly.

Aaron and Andrew were in the next room in Harlow Hall and they formed an unlikely double act. Andy was perhaps one of the quietest people Jude had ever encountered, he would answer any question put to him but rarely elaborated and then there was Aaron, who was freakishly well built for a thirteen year old. He was definitely the alpha male off the group but Jude suspected that beneath the surface he had a more sensitive side judging by how protective he was of Andy.

Niall was the first friend Jude had made outside of his house and although they didn’t get off to the greatest start when Niall accidentally floored Jude with a wayward volleyball, they had become good friends ever since. Niall was someone who genuinely didn’t seem to care what anyone thought of him and Jude was learning to admire that quality in him.

On his first weekend in College Wood, Jude had met the twins, Sophie and Rachel. It was at one of the many social occasions the school had organised for all the first years so that they could get to know each other and mix outside of the classroom. Nearly everyone was there except for Connor who wasn’t feeling well that night but the highlight of the night had to be when Niall was introduced to Rachel. The two of them struck up an instant friendship and seemed to share many things in common particularly a warped sense of humour. Jude couldn’t help but think of all the trouble those two would get into in the future.

“It’s so weird man” Niall would say. “I thought twins were supposed to be you know….similar.”

He had a point, Rachel and Sophie couldn’t have been more different. Rachel was a complete tomboy who’s main interest seemed to involve having fun with Niall. Her sister Sophie was the responsible one and rather beautiful at least that seemed to be the general consensus amongst the other boys. She was friendly though and Rachel was alway keen to get her to let her hair down and relax. I guess the twins, like most of Jude’s friends here, were not what he expected. All except Connor of course. Connor didn’t seem complicated at all.

He was the blond, tanned American boy Jude met in science class on his very first day. He was exactly how Jude imagined a boy from California to be judging by all those teen movies he hated watching. He seemed extremely popular with both the boys and the girls, indeed Jude always seemed to notice him in the halls in the company of some drooling school girl. He was also very athletic by all accounts and always seemed bubbly and happy like an overexcited puppy.

In fact he was exactly the sort of person that Jude should really hate and yet he found himself weirdly smiling whenever he saw Connor. Tuesday’s had become one of Jude’s favourite days because that’s when the two of them would have lunch together out by the old oak tree. Yeah Connor was pretty wasn’t complicated but he was pretty cool.

——————————————------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------—

It was Friday afternoon and Jude was sitting in the library with Andrew and Sophie studying for their English test which was due on Monday.

Jude had noticed Connor sitting at a small table on the other side of the library. He found himself looking over several times trying to determine if the girl sharing a desk with him was a friend or just a stranger who he happened to sit beside. Not that it matters really. 

He was about to head back to his dorm when he looked up just in time to see Connor aggressively throwing his text book in his bag. He stormed out of the library. Jude had never seen him like that. He quickly packed up his things and set about following his friend.

As he walked outside and down the steps he caught a glimpse of Connor walking over to the tree where they would sit for lunch. He probably needs his space, Jude thought. “Yeah I’ll just head back to my room” he said to himself, so you can imagine his surprise as he found himself walking across the grass towards the old tree. 

As he rounded the tree he saw Connor sitting at its base aggressively pulling tufts of grass from the ground and throwing them sporadically nearby.

“Ahem” 

“Wha…Jude! What are you doing here”? Connor said quickly turning his gaze back to focus into the distance.

“Em…I just saw you head over here and thought you might need some company”

“I don’t think I’d be good company right now” Connor said still stubbornly staring straight ahead.

“I can go if you like.”

Connor didn’t say anything he just let his head drop as he started fidgeting with his hands.

Jude decided to sit down, not quite close enough that he was touching Connor but not that far away either.

“Are you okay?” concern clear in Jude’s tone.

“Its just……” Connor looked at Jude, his eye’s glossy like he could breakdown at any moment. Before he continued he looked down at his hands again.

“I hate it here sometimes!”

“You wha…why?”

“I miss my home, my friends, I’m not good at school like you are Jude, I don’t belong here…..I just…..I want to go home.”

Jude could sense it, the tears were coming, any second now. 

He placed his hand gently on Connor’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry I had no idea.”

“Nobody does….I guess I’ve been too embarrassed to tell anyone. God I feel like such a baby..I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be troubling you with my problems.”

Jude used his hand that was still resting on Connor’s shoulder to turn him slightly so that they were facing each other.

“I know it’s not the same as your friends back home but you can talk to me anytime…about anything you like okay?

Connor just smiled and nodded his head slightly. Jude thought to himself that Connor was not as uncomplicated as he originally thought. He felt a little guilty for not noticing how Connor felt before now and as starred into his eyes, he promised himself that he would do whatever it took to make his friend happy again.

“We can even study together you know help each other out…if you want.”

Connor dropped his head again but this time he seemed to be smiling.

“Yeah that sounds nice” 

Jude found himself smiling too. “You know it’s still early, we have a few hours before dinner you want to hang out?”

Connor stood up and looked down at his friend. “Sure you wanna go back to my room?”

 

The two boys spent the next two hours hanging out in Connor’s dorm. Connor was telling Jude all about his life back home and showing him photo’s of the pier where he used to hang out with his friends.

“So were you as popular back home as you are here?” Jude asked with a mischievous smirk on his face.

“What do you mean?” Connor responded. He really didn’t consider himself that popular either back home or especially here in College Wood.

“Oh come on you mean you seriously haven’t noticed how all the girls keep looking at you?”

Connor just gave an awkward laugh. “I guess I haven’t been paying much attention.”

“So do you have a girlfriend or something back home? Jude enquired. He was just trying to make conversation but before Connor could answer, the door swung open.

“Hey Connie did I leave my…..Jude!”

“Niall?”

“What are you doing here?”

Connor stood up from his bed with a confused look on his face.

“Wait you two are friends??”

Jude smirked as he stood up to join Connor “I wouldn’t go that far. Hawkeye here nearly knocked me out cold with a volleyball on our very first day.”

Connor turned to Jude, “That was you!”

It was at this point that Niall interjected again. “Jez Jude how long are you going to hold that over me? Jude giggled awkwardly which seemed to catch Connor’s attention as he turned to stare at him.

Just then Niall walked over planting himself between both of them. He wrapped an arm each around their shoulders. 

“This’ll be great” he said “I always thought Connie and me needed another partner in crime….Just think of all the fun we’ll have together!”


	4. Short Notice

“Hey give that back dick!” 

Connor looked up hearing the boys out in the corridor arguing.

“I told you we should’ve gone to the library.” Jude said while still staring at his Geography book. 

“Nah I like it here better” 

It was true. These last few weeks Connor had spent almost as much time hanging out in Jude’s room as he did in his own. His homesickness had begun to recede which he put down to two factors. First, all the sports he played which left him little time to think of home but more importantly Jude and his friends had made him feel welcome…he was starting to feel like he belonged here. In a bizarre turn of events he even found himself not hating studying as much. He didn’t know why he just seemed to be enjoying it lately...... studying….with Jude.

The comfortable silence was broken by the sound of a phone vibrating.

“Shit sorry - I’ll be quick”

“S’okay” 

Jude answered the phone “Hey……..Yeah okay so you’ll be here by six?………….Okay cool…….Yeah I’ll be ready…….Yeah see you then”

“Hot date?” Connor queried 

“Hardly…that was just my parents”

“They’re coming here?” Connor enquired “Didn’t you just spend all Halloween break with them?”

“Well…..yeah……thing is…..today is sorta my birthday” Jude admitted with a guilty look in eyes.

“WHAT?” Connor was in shock. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

“I dunno….I guess……..I dunno” Jude really didn’t know why he didn’t tell anyone, why he didn’t tell Connor. He guessed it just didn’t seem important.

“So that’s why you are all dressed up? Don’t think I didn’t notice.”

“Yeah my parents are taking me out for dinner. I had to get special permission from Mr. Barlow.”

“That’s nice….I still can’t believe you didn’t tell me though”

“Sorry”

“You can make it up to me by helping me with this math problem.”

Jude walked over and sat on his bed beside Connor. As he leaned in to read the text book he thought of how nice Connor smelled, his body wash from the shower after practice was still noticeable. It was kind of distracting and Jude had to put it to the back of his mind as he concentrated on helping his friend. They continued like that for the next two hours studying or helping each other when one of them got stuck on problem and giggling of course whenever one of them said something funny. Soon it would be time of Jude’s parents to arrive.

“You can come” Jude asked nonchalantly “My parents won’t mind”

“Thanks but I’m not really dressed for it….besides I promised Niall and Rachel I’d meet them later.

Jude was a little disappointed but he didn’t let it show.

 

As they exited the front door of Harlow Hall. Jude spots his parents car arriving. 

“So that’s my parents….do you wanna meet them?”

“Sure” Connor sounded carefree and happy but suddenly felt nervous for some reason.

What if they don’t like me????Okay chill best behaviour Connor

“Jude! There you are, happy birthday sweetheart” Jude was wrapped in a warm embrace by his mother. His father smiled and patted him on the shoulder.

“Mom, dad this is my friend Connor”

“Nice to meet you Mr. & Mrs Jacob” Connor said in an unusually tentative voice.

“So this is the Connor we’ve been hearing about….lovely to meet you” Jude’s mother smiled “Will you be joining us for dinner?”

“Oh no Mrs. Jacob. But thank you for the kind invitation.” Connor seemed to have regained some of his confidence.

“Well aren’t you a polite young man.” Jude’s dad chimed in. “Next time though yes? You can fill us in on what Jude is really getting up to here. He never tells us anything.”

“Dad!” Jude said in a whiny tone. “We should probably get going before you embarrass the both of us”

“Oh but I was just…”

“Dad!” Jude repeated.

“Well we probably should get going it was lovely to meet you Connor.”

As the Jacobs got in their car Connor began walking back to Clifton House. Nailed it! He thought.

The restaurant was a mere fifteen minutes away from College Wood. As Jude and his parents were shown to their table Jude mother turned to him.

“Callie’s sorry she couldn’t make it.” His mother said

“That’s ok she texted me this morning to wish me a happy birthday…so it’s no big deal and speaking of which you know you really didn’t need to bring me out for dinner. I’ll be home for Christmas soon.”

“Nonsense sweetie, we couldn’t pass up an opportunity to see our special boy” Jude’s mother said

“Plus this is a special birthday” added his father.

“I mean you’re a teenager now. It’s a real milestone….and you know that means you'll be going through a lot of changes.”

“DAD! if you think I won’t stand up and walk out of this restaurant you are sorely mistaken.”

“Donald! don’t embarrass the poor boy.” Jude for once felt gratitude that his mother was intervention. 

“Fine fine…so have any of those College Wood girls caught your eye son?”

“Dad! for the love of God!”

Once again Jude’s mother interjected. 

“We are just glad you seem to be making friends sweetie. That Connor boy seems very nice”

What followed was about three solid minutes of Jude describing just how nice Connor was. How he was great at sports, how Jude was his unofficial tutor, how funny and kind he was and how they would hang out together all the time.

Jude eventually paused for breath when he noticed his parents give each other one of those all knowing looks they frequently share.

“What?”

“Oh nothing sweetie like I said we are just glad you are making friends” Jude’s mother confirmed matter of factly but he did notice a slight smirk on his fathers face.

He suspected there was more to it than that but he decided not to push things.

 

After finishing their meal and saying a more emotional farewell than Jude thought necessary, he returned to Harlow Hall. Most of the younger boys were getting ready for lights out and sure enough when he entered his room Ed was lying on his bed in his pyjamas reading a book.

“How was your dinner?”

“Oh…it was good thanks.”

As Jude turned his attention to his own bed he noticed something. A small cupcake sitting on top of a white envelope. He looked at Ed who continued to have his head buried in his book.

Jude opened the envelope removed a card and smiled widely upon reading the message.

‘Happy Thirteenth Birthday Jude! 

From Connor

p.s. Hope you enjoy the cake. It’s the best I could do on such short notice.’

“You have no idea the self control it took to not eat that cupcake” Ed said “Oh and by the way we are going to talk about the fact that I had to find out it was your birthday from Connor.”

“Sorry” Jude said still beaming. He whipped out his phone. He had to text Connor, couldn't wait until tomorrow. 

“Thanks for the cake :)”

Before he was finished changing for bed his phone pinged.

“It’s the least I could do. Hope you enjoyed your night.”

Jude climbed into bed thinking this had been a good birthday, a great birthday and try as he might he couldn’t seem to stop smiling as he drifted off to sleep.


	5. The Perv, The Stalker and The Obsessive

The weeks and months passed by, Christmas came and went and Connor and his friends were starting to look towards Summer with a sense of anticipation.

“Dude! that’s so fucked up!”

“Relax Connie, It’s just a bit of fun” Niall said while retrieving his phone from his friend.

“Yeah Connor, don’t blame yourself just because your roommate is a total perv.” added Rachel as she took a sip of her drink.

“Hey hey hey I am not a perv. I’m just a normal growing boy with all the usual curiosity and urges. Anyway aren’t we encouraged to explore our curiosity here?”

“I think you’ve been doing enough ‘exploring’ lately.” Connor joked with a smirk on his face.

“You can talk Stevens! You think I don’t hear you at night?” Niall joked back

“Whoa! Are you guys actually talking about what I think you’re talking about?” Rachel interrupted “Because I don’t need to know what you two get up to.”

Just then Connor looked up and noticed Jude, Sophie and Andrew enter the dining hall.

“Jude is here knock that shit off your phone man”

“You know Connie, Jude is not the delicate flower you like to think he is….I bet he likes to get down and dirty like the rest of us”

“Niall I swear to God knock that shit off!”

Niall complied with a wry smile on his face.

“Hey guys” Connor greeted the threesome as they arrived.

“Hey” Jude said brightly

“Hey Connor” Sophie said as she sat down next time him.

“So” she continued “Did you guys hear about our spring history trip?”

“No what’s going on” Andrew enquired

“Apparently we are going to Rome for a weekend at the end of April” Sophie respond. “Doesn’t that sound great?”

Everyone shrugged their shoulders in agreement.

“Sounds like fun I guess” Jude said

The gang spent the rest of their lunch talking about the trip, despite their initial apathy the more people talked the more it seemed like an opportunity to enjoy themselves.

As they walked out of dinning hall towards their afternoon classes Sophie turned to the group.

“You know maybe I should start exercising more …get in shape” She said

Jude furrowed his brow, Sophie was basically stick thin, she was the last last person Jude figured needed to tone up.

“So Connor, you’re the resident athlete of the group, fancy meeting me after class to give me a few pointers?”

Ah! Jude thought….the penny drops.

Niall and Rachel look at each other rolling their eyes in unison.

Rachel couches out “Pathetic!” under her breath

“Whats that sis?” Sophie enquires

“Oh nothing, just something caught in my throat” she responds while Niall can’t help smiling

“Well lets hope you don’t choke!….So what do you say Connor?”

“Eh…well I’m supposed to meet Jude after class….you know to study but maybe you could ask Aaron I mean he spends more time in the gym than the rest of us combined.

“Oh come on you study with Jude all the time surely you can take one day off?”

Connor looked at Jude not really sure what to say in fact he was starting to panic when Jude chimed in.

“I guess you’re right. Connor is probably sick of me by now.” Jude laughed a little at the last sentence and Connor did too but it was a fake laugh. Connor wondered if Jude really thought that, if he thought that he didn’t appreciate everything Jude’s done for him.

“Well okay then.” Connor agreed

As the group parted for their various classes Connor was sure he saw Sophie nudge Rachel’s shoulder and say “See told ya.”

Connor gulped but at least tomorrow was Saturday and he and Jude would have plenty of time to catch up on their studying.

————————————

“So you never told me how it went yesterday….with Sophie” Jude queried

“Em to be honest I don’t think she has much interest in working out”

“Oh really” Jude laughed “What gave it away?”

“Well the outfit she was wearing plus her hair, the perfume it wasn’t really workout appropriate….and she kept you know…touching me”

“Oh” Jude’s head shot up. “So…..do you like her?”

Connor looked down to his lap where he was fidgeting with his hands.

“I mean she’s hot I guess but….”

Connor noticed how intently Jude was staring at him

“She kinda scares me a little”

Both boys started giggling the awkward tension that had started to seep into the room vanished.

“Well you better watch out. I bet she’ll have her sights set on you on our school trip” Jude giggle mischievously

“Oh God you gotta protect me man”

“Don’t worry we’ll stick together….you wanna see if we can share a room that weekend?”

“Yeah!” Connor worried briefly that he may have sounded a bit too eager but Jude didn’t seem to notice.

Not a lot of studying was done for the rest of the afternoon. In fact, come to think of it lately Connor and Jude didn’t do much studying together. They would always make plans to go to each others rooms after class or at weekends to study but there were plenty of times when they didn’t even open a book. They would just talk about Jude’s family or Connor’s life back in California or just play stupid free games on their phones. Today turned out to be one of those days.

They were both sitting on Jude’s bed. Jude was playing a game on his iPad. His knees were bent and his iPad was resting on them. Connor was sitting beside him leaning in to look at the screen. As he did so he couldn’t help stealing glances at Jude. He liked looking at his hair and his eyes and his little nose the more he stared at Jude the more he smiled.

But he wasn’t here to look at Jude he was here to play video games so he turned his attention to the iPad. Jude’s right had was feverishly tapping away at the screen and Connor noticed again how nice his fingers looked not just his fingers but his whole hand really. Connor lowered his vision to the bed where Jude’s left hand was peacefully resting. He noticed again how soft his hands looked. Not for the first time Connor thought of what Jude’s hands would feel like. Would they really be as soft as they looked.

It had dawned on Connor awhile ago that he has never really touched Jude before. Sure they would occasionally nudge each other and there was that one day under the oak tree when Jude put his hand on his shoulder but there’s never really been any proper skin on skin contact and for some reason Connor was starting to obsess over that fact.

As he continued to look at Jude’s hand he couldn’t help but imagine what it would be like to touch it even just for a second by accident maybe. As he continued to stare intently at Jude’s soft pale skin he noticed that the tapping on the tablet had stopped he looked up to find Jude’s eyes staring intently at him.

“Em you okay Connor”

_Fuck shit! what the fuck am I supposed to say now!_

“Eh yeah I…..I was just thinking……I haven’t really told you how grateful I am for you know being so nice to me this year.” _Beautiful Connor you really pulled that one out of the bag._

Jude laughed “Connor, you thank me all the time and I don’t need your gratitude I just really enjoy hanging out with you”

“Me too…I mean I enjoy hanging out with you too.”

Jude smiled widely upon hearing Connor’s last words, so widely that Connor could see all his teeth which made Connor smile. So basically the two of them sat there smiling like idiots at each other when Connor’s attention was once again drawn to Jude’s hand resting on the bed. It was so close that he could almost touch it and seemingly without any authorisation from his brain his hand started to inch ever so slightly towards Jude’s.

Jude just sat there he seemed to be frozen in position Connor was sure he must have noticed the ever so slight movement of his hand he wondered if Jude was going to retreat his away before they touched.

Just then the door of Jude’s room swung open and Ed, Aaron and Andrew walked in.

“Hey what are you guys up to” Ed asked.

“Eh….”

“Eh nothing” Jude said “We were just mostly talking about the school trip.”

“Oh yeah the guys told me” Ed responded “Sounds like fun right?”

Connor just gulped.

 


	6. Rome

In the few hours they had spent in Rome, the first year College Wood students had gained an appreciation of this great city. The warm spring weather was a welcome change to what they left behind in London. They had already visited the colosseum and a few other ancient landmarks. It was hard not to be impressed by the history, the culture, the food of course.

It was Saturday afternoon and most the group were in the National Roman Museum listening dutifully to their guide describe the lifestyle of the average citizen in ancient Rome. Aaron, Connor, Jude and Rachel were standing at the back of the group. Jude smiled noticing Connor’s nervousness. He had been relatively successful in dodging Sophie so far although she had made it clear that she had plans for him this weekend.

“God Sophie’s fit as fuck” Aaron said

Rachel coughed to make her presence known.

“That’s my sister you freak!”

“Yeah and if you were a guy, you’d know what I’m talking about”

“If I was a guy she’d still be my sister dumbass, and incest is just wrong!”

“Hey guys” Sophie yelled as she approached the group with Andrew following closely behind her.

“Oh hey sis, Aaron was just giving us his opinion on interfamilial relationships” Rachel said

Sophie looked perplexed. “Huh….anyway Connor you wanna go check out the medieval exhibit?”

“Eh….” Connor was at a loss

“Actually we’ve just seen it” Jude interrupted

Connor looked at Jude and smiled as if to say ‘Thank you’

The group continued with their tour but Connor still felt a little unsettled by the way Sophie stared at him when she thought nobody was looking. He knew Sophie was harmless but he also felt unsettled by the attention.

The gang were nearing the end of their tour, Jude was walking towards the back of the group. Sophie had just made an another attempt to engineer a scenario where she would be alone with Connor. Thankfully once again Jude was there to save the day.

As the group moved from one exhibit to another Jude felt a hand grab his forearm and pull him away from the rest of his friends.

“Come on!’ Connor whispered and the two boys ran through the museum giggling. Jude had an image of Sophie chasing them like a deranged stalker but of course he knew that wasn’t true. Sophie was a little pushy but she wasn’t crazy. Still the thought made the whole experience more exciting.

As they continued to run, Jude was very aware that Connor was still holding on to his forearm. If only he hadn’t of worn a long sleeve shirt that day then Connor would be touching him, actually touching his skin. As they rounded another corner the boys stopped against a wall. They were out of breath and were giggling and gasping for air at the same time. Connor was standing incredibly close to Jude so much so that Jude could feel Connor’s heavy breathing on his neck.

“I”m sorry I just can’t take any more chances” Connor said. “If I wasn’t for you saving me all day she probably would of got me to marry her by now.”

Jude just laughed Connor was such a dork but he liked the idea that he was his saviour.

The rest of the day continued with the group visiting some other historical landmarks in Rome. All in all in had was a pretty exhausting day. Which is why Jude was relieved to finally get back to his room….the room he was sharing with Connor.

All anyone walking past their door in the last hour would hear was constant laughter and giggling form the two boys.

They were both sitting on Connor’s bed with their knees folded facing each other.

“Wait say it again”

“Vitamins….what’s the big deal”

“Why do you say like that?”

“Me! You’re the one who says things funny”

“You should talk with my dad… he’s even more English than I am” Jude joked

He noticed that the smile that had been a constant on Connor’s face faded slightly.

“So you don’t talk much about your dad” Jude enquired

“Eh yeah not much to say really”

“Do you guys not get on?”

“It’s not that” Connor lowered his head. “I mean it’s not like we argue or anything. In order to argue you actually have to feel something for the other person”

Jude was shocked by that last statement.

“Wh…What do you mean?

“My dad…I guess to him I’m…I dunno…I guess he’s a busy man, too busy to have a son around.”

Jude couldn’t believe it. The thought of any parent not caring for their child was so totally alien to him. He needed to understand what was going on with Connor, needed to know why he felt this way. But, he also saw that the conversation was upsetting Connor, the bright spark of fun and laughter he usually saw in Connor’s eye’s was absent. This was not the time. He need to stir the conversation towards lighter matters.

Jude reached out and placed his hand gently on Connor’s shoulder. Connor immediately lifted his head and smiled, Jude realised it was a smile mixed with sadness and appreciation.

“You wanna play some games on my phone?”

Jude doesn’t know how long he laid there on Connor’s bed watching him play video games. The next thing he remembers is struggling to open his eyes. It was morning, and Jude was a little disorientated.

It took him a few moments to realise that he was still lying on Connor’s bed, he must have fallen asleep there, his head resting peacefully on Connor’s shoulder, the texture of his t-shirt was soft and warm just like Connor.

Just as he was about to lift his head, Connor hummed and seemed to turn into Jude almost as if he wanted to cuddle him…almost. God his body was so warm. Jude raised his head slightly to look at Connor who was still sleeping peacefully. Jude swore he could nearly make out a smile on his face. Connor looked happy…content. Jude knew he would never forget that image for as long as he lived.

After a few minutes, maybe ten, maybe twenty, Connor started to stir he opened his eyes and looked at Jude.

“Hey…morning”

“Hey….sorry looks like I fell asleep here”

“S’okay I guess we were both tired last night”

“Yeah….” Jude couldn’t take his eyes of Connor who seemed to be staring straight back at him with that stupid grin on his face.

Eventually Connor spoke. “Well I guess we’d better get ready before Aaron and Andy eat all our breakfast”

Jude just smiled at Connor’s dorky comment.

“You mind if I shower first?” Connor asked

“Eh sure” Jude responded

As Connor got up to head to the bathroom his forearm brushed ever so slightly against Jude’s hand. It was barely anything, only a split second but Jude felt a jolt of electricity shoot through his entire body. Connor’s arm was impossibly warm and and soft…so soft.

Jude spent the next 15 minutes obsessing over Connor’s touch while he showered in the bathroom. Just as he had compartmentalised it and promised himself to stop thinking about it, Connor exited the bathroom.

Jude isn’t a religious person, he doesn’t really believe in God or supernatural stuff. However the sight of Connor standing there wearing just a towel was the closest he had come to having a spiritual epiphany. That’s the polite way of describing it of course, in real terms, Jude lost his shit!

His mouth seemed to stop functioning, in the sense that it wouldn’t fucking close, plus while he wasn’t positive he was pretty sure he started drooling a little.

Now of course Jude was no stranger to seeing naked or half naked guys. Privacy was not high on anyones agenda in boarding school it seemed, but this was different. This was Connor Fucking Stevens standing in front of him wearing a fucking towel!

Jude knew that Connor was ‘fit as fuck’ as Aaron would say but there’s a difference between knowing it and seeing it. His shoulders were impossibly broad. His upper arms were so muscled and strong looking and his chest and stomach…Jesus!. God there were still drops of water running down his body. Jude would give anything to be one of those drops right now.

“Eh Jude you wanna use the shower?”

“Y….Yeah sure”

Jude gathered his clothes and rushed into the bathroom locking it securely. Was he hyperventilating? _Jesus Jude pull it together._

As Jude stood there in the shower he couldn’t help but think that just 10 minutes ago Connor was standing in this exact spot….naked. Jude’s brain was completely malfunctioning but he couldn’t help but notice that his body also had a reaction to the situation.

Jude tried to think of something else, something that wasn’t Connor but he couldn’t. Connor was his friend, his best friend and Jude knew it was wrong to think of him in like that and it was certainly wrong to act on those urges. No Jude knew that would be wrong, he knew he would feel guilty as hell afterwards so he just had to control himself.

The rest of the day passed by relatively quickly and the gang were glad to be heading back to College Wood at the end of a hectic weekend.

As Jude and Connor sat next to each other on the bus to the airport, Connor turned to Jude.

“Hey you okay?” he said has he nudged his shoulder “You’ve been quiet all day”

“Eh yeah I guess I’m just tired” Jude said.

  
_Tired and guilty._


	7. Empty Room/Full Heart

Something was definitely wrong. It was the last day of school, the last day of Jude’s first year at College Wood. Summer was just around the corner, a whole summer of no classes, no studying and most importantly no boarding school! Jude should be happy, deliriously happy and he was….kinda. He could’t wait to get back home to his own bed, in his own room, which he didn’t have to share with anyone. Yet despite all the positives, there was something weighing on his mind, he couldn’t quite put his finger on it but something was making him kinda sad.

Despite his initial reservations he had come to like it here. He had made some truly great friends each one different in their own way but all important. Who knows maybe he could meet up with some of them during the summer months. That would be nice he thought.

Of course he knew he wouldn’t be able to see everyone. Some of his new friends lived too far away. Before he had time to think about it any further he was interrupted.

“Well that’s me packed and ready to go”

Jude just nodded

“You okay Jude?” his roommate queried

“Yeah…Yeah I’m fine Ed. I just feel a little weird”

“I get it. It’s strange to think a whole year has gone by already….”

Ed continued to talk but in all honesty Jude had kinda zoned out. One thought kept repeating in his mind. He wouldn’t see Connor again until September. That was months away. He should have gone over to Clifton House earlier to say goodbye.…properly.

The gang had all met up the previous night to say their goodbyes but Jude had barely got any time with Connor. He secretly hoped that Connor would show up at his dorm this morning so they could hang out before they all went their separate ways but alas there was no sign of him. Still they could always text or Skype or something during the summer. Although Connor had mentioned a few times how much he hated Skype but still they would keep in touch…they had to.

“Hey Jude you listening?”

“Huh”

Ed shook his head. “I was just saying that it was really great sharing with you this year. You’re a good guy…even if you are a little weird”

Jude laughed and playfully punched Ed in the shoulder. “Well I better go my parents are waiting. I’ll see you next year Jude. Text me okay?”

“Sure…bye Ed”

Jude took a moment to look around the rather sparse room. All of the belongings, photos, and what Ed teasingly referred to as ‘Jude’s crap’ had been packed away. He felt a knot in his stomach but couldn’t understand where it came from. He should be happy about finally finishing the school year.

He took a deep breath, zipped up the last of his bags and was preparing to head down to the main hallway to wait for his parents. Before he could turn around he heard a gentle knock on the open door.

“Hey there”

Jude had always thought of himself as someone who had a pretty tight control over his emotions. In fact he often didn’t like others to know what he’s feeling. Given the choice Jude would always try to be the stoic silent type. However upon seeing Connor, his best friend Connor, leaning on the frame of the door just now, Jude knows that there was no chance he could contain his happiness.

“Hey yourself” Jude was smiling

“Sorry to bother you I just thought I’d come over to say goodbye”

“Oh well I’m the last one here. Everyone else has already left” Jude was still smiling

“Well at least you’re still here. That’s the main thing” Jude’s face was starting to hurt from all the smiling.

“Wow your room is so empty” Connor said while wandering around the bed.

“I’m gonna miss this room Jude we had some good times here…..good old room 2B”

“Yeah we did”

“So does that mean next year you guys just get moved up to 3B or…?”

“There is no 3B” Jude interrupted. “Doesn’t exist for some reason”

Connor just nodded absentmindedly.

“I don’t even know who I’ll be sharing with come September” Jude added

“Well I don’t think I have to worry about that. Niall has assured me that we’ll be roommates again next year. He says all the other guys in our house are animals and I’m the only one he can tolerate”

Jude just laughed. It sounded like something Niall would say alright.

“So when’s your flight home?” Jude enquired

“Soon I should probably get back, I just wanted to come over….you know…before you left”

“Yeah…….Text me when you land okay”

“Sure I know how you worry” Connor gave a little chuckle.

“Well I guess I’ll see you in September Jude”

“Yeah… bye Connor” Jude had stopped smiling and as Connor walked towards the door his head dropped.

But then he lifted his vision just in time to see Connor walk towards him and wrap him in the tightest hug he had ever felt. Jude couldn’t remember the last time he felt so safe and warm and and happy.

Connor was holding him tight and Jude instinctively raised his two hands and clung to Connor’s back feeling the soft fabric of his plaid shirt. He doesn’t know how long the hug lasted. Time seemed to be irreverent to Jude right now. All that mattered was this feeling, whatever it was he was feeling as he stood there in Connor’s arms.

He could smell Connor’s body wash from his neck. It was…..intoxicating. Jude knew it was nothing special in fact he was pretty sure that Ed uses the same one but when he smelled it from Connor it was….different. Everything was different with Connor.

Jude suddenly became very aware that his chest was pressed against Connor’s. He wondered if Connor could feel his heart beating out of his chest. He almost felt weak like his knees were no longer strong enough to support his weight. So he continued to cling to his best friend.

Just then he felt Connors head move to whisper something Jude’s whole body seemed to shiver as he could feel Connor’s breath on his ear.

“Thank you for being my friend Jude”

Jude was……speechless. As in, he had no fucking clue how to respond to that. So he didn’t. He just stood there holding onto Connor for dear life. After a few moments Connor released his grip and took a step back. If Jude was capable of making any kind of sound right now he knew he would of whined at the lost of contact. Maybe it was a good thing he was such an emotional wreck.

“I really should go this time”

“O….okay” Jude finally managed to get a word out.

“I’ll text you….every day”

“O..okay….and Connor….thanks for being my friend too” Jude felt a certain pride in his ability to get a full sentence out.

Connor just smiled bright and happy before turning and exiting the room.

Jude collapsed on the bed. His mind a flood of mixed emotions. He was seriously messed up. Was he happy…sad he really didn’t know. He was smiling again though in fact he couldn’t seem to stop .The only thing he knew for certain, with absolute one hundred percent conviction was that September couldn’t come quickly enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating more during the week. I'm just crazy busy with work this month but should hopefully be back to normal soon.


	8. Disconnected

Connor’s plane landed just before 7am London time. Despite his best efforts he had not really managed to get any sleep. He always found it difficult to sleep on planes and on this occasion he just couldn’t get his mind to shut itself off.

Connor was returning for his second year in College Wood, a prestigious boarding school based on the outskirts of London. As he walked through the arrivals hall at Heathrow airport, he couldn’t help think about how thing’s had changed since this time last year.

Last year he was a nervous wreck thinking about spending a whole school year away from his home away from his friends, in some strange country with strange people and even stranger food.

But now….now things were different, despite the fact that he was returning to school and giving up most of the freedom he had enjoyed over the summer months, there was a part of him, a not insignificant part, that was actually looking looking forward to going back to College Wood. Connor surmised that main reason for this was for the first time in months he would get to see all the friends he made last year. Ed, Aaron, Rachel even Sophie and of course Niall……and Jude.

He had to admit that he felt a little disconnected from the group due to the physical distance. Sure he would text Niall and Jude most days but he still felt separated from everyone. All that was over now though, the gang would be back together soon.

Because his flight was so early he was one of the first to arrive back at Clifton House. As he approached the main door a funny thought crossed his mind. Should he knock? This was his home (at least for most of the year), should he just barge in? A little unsure Connor gave the door a slight knock before turning the handle.

“Hello” he called out

After a few seconds he heard footsteps coming down the stairs.

“Ah young Master Steven’s” Mr Upton his housemaster greeted

“I trust you’ve had a enjoyable and productive summer?”

“Erm sure Sir…..enjoyable anyway”

“Indeed….well let me show you to your dorm room for the year.”

Connor followed his housemaster up the stairs.

“Now then here we are” Mr. Upton said as he opened the door to Connor’s dorm. It was pretty much identical to the room he had last year except it was one floor up.

“After much badgering I have agreed to let you and Master Coogan share again this year”

“Oh really? That’s great Sir, Niall mentioned he would ask you.”

“Hmmmm well Master Coogan is very persistent. That rapscallion will be the death of me”

‘Rapscallion’ he was definitely back in England, Connor thought.

“Now just don’t make me regret this decision”

“Of course Sir best behaviour…I promise”

“Hmmm…well I’ll leave you to unpack” Mr. Upton opened the door to leave but before he exited fully he turned around.

“Oh…. and welcome back Connor” he said with a smile on his face

Connor grinned. He had a feeling this was going to be a good year.

Mr. Upton was kind enough to prepare Connor some breakfast, crumpets with butter. He had to admit he had developed a fondness for certain English dishes but some of them still freaked him out a little.

After breakfast, Connor spent most of the morning unpacking. Around lunchtime some of the other boys started arriving. Mostly the new first years, he decided to give them a wide berth for now as he remembered what it was like to be in their position. In any case he was kind of enjoying some quiet time. The tranquility didn’t last long.

“Connie! You mad bastard”

By the time he got to his feet Connor had been enveloped in a bear hug by his roommate.

“Good to see you man. You been here long?” Niall enquired

“A few hours.”

“OK let me just dump this shit here and we can head over to Jude’s he’s just arrived too”

“He has?”

“Yeah he just texted me.”

Connor was a little taken aback that Jude hadn’t shared that news with him directly. In any case both boys headed over to Harlow Hall to see Jude, Ed and the others. Of course Jude was the only one of the gang that was there when they entered the dorm room.

“Hey!”

Similar to Connor, Jude was greeted with an all encompassing bear hug from Niall.

“Jez get off me you big freak!” Jude joked.

Then as Niall released him he saw Connor standing somewhat shyly over Niall’s shoulder.

“Hi” he said softly. Connor was speechless for a second fixated on how sweet Jude’s smile was.

“Hey Jude” He wondered if Jude picked up on how emotionally fragile he felt seeing him again.

“Soooo what do you guys wanna do?” Niall asked breaking what he probably thought was and awkward silence.

“Well school doesn’t officially start until tomorrow and we have few hours until we have to be back for registration why don’t we hang out head into town maybe. Its a nice day out.” Jude said

“Sounds good to me” Connor responded.  
“You’re coming too right Niall” Jude seemed quite insistent like he wasn’t going to accept no for an answer.

“Sure sounds like a plan.”

The three boys headed down the main street of the nearest town to College Wood. It was a typical suburban main street on the outskirts of London and as this was a typical working day it was pretty quiet in the mid afternoon. The three boys just wandered around, every so often they would bump into someone they recognised from school and they would catch up briefly before going on their way.

“So come on Connie spill what did you get up this summer?”

“Well nothing really just hung out with my friends back home went skating surfing you know the usual.”

“Meet any hot girls? Niall asked with a smirk

Connor just chuckled “No I’m leaving them all for you buddy.” As he finished his sentence he couldn’t help noticing that Niall eyes shot across to Jude just for an instant. It was probably nothing but still it made him wonder.

“So what about you? Good Summer?”

“It was okay I guess, to be honest I got kinda bored sometimes. But don’t ever tell my folks I said that. They were bugging me all summer to do something productive. Still at least Jude kept me entertained…at least for awhile.”

“Oh…y..you two hung out?”

“Well just for a week or two. I was over in London visiting some family and Jude showed me some of the sights.”

“Oh…okay” Connor looked across at Jude who just had a blank expression on his face. “Neither of you mentioned it in your texts”.

“It’s not that big a deal…we mostly just played video games and chilled” Jude added.

Connor hated to admit it but suddenly he felt a flurry of negative emotions. Jealousy and even anger were two he recognised straight away. He really had no right to feel either it was just….he kinda felt left out. Yeah that must of been it.

The trio continued to wander aimlessly around town. Connor didn’t speak much for the rest of the afternoon. Just letting Niall and Jude have various conversations. He did however notice that it felt like he was on the outside at times. Like there were times when Niall would ask him a question and then look at Jude as he answered as if the two of them knew something he didn’t. He was probably just imagining it.

As the made their way back to the main gate, Niall got a text.

“Hey looks like Rachel and Sophie are back, I better go check in. You guys coming?”

“Nah I’m good” Jude said “I’ve to unpack I’ll catch up with them later”

“Connie you in?”

Connor couldn’t help notice how Jude was staring at him like he was fixating on what response he would give.

“To be honest I’m kind of tired after my flight. I think I’ll just head back to our room”

“Okay later losers”

With that, Niall was gone and Connor and Jude were standing there beside the sports pitches.

“So I guess I’ll see you in class tomorrow” Connor said

“Oh…you don’t want to maybe…hang out or…”

“I am pretty tired. I don’t think I would be great company right now.”

“Is everything okay Connor? You seem a little …..off?”

“I’m fine really. Just tired. I’ll see you tomorrow Jude.”

Connor wasn’t lying he really was exhausted and he just wasn’t feeling…..right. He probably just needed rest.

———————————

“So I forgot to ask earlier, how are the girls?” Connor asked as he was getting ready for bed.

“Oh they’re fine. Good news I think Sophie is finally over you. She’s all obsessed over some guy she met in France this summer.”

“That’s nice” Connor made a mental note to ask her about her new boo tomorrow.

“Ah as for Rach” Niall continued. “She’s still bat shit crazy…God I missed that bitch.”

Connor turned around looking directly at him. Niall looked up confused.

“What?’”

“So you missed Rachel huh? Is there something going on I should know about?” Connor was smiling

“No! get your mind out of the gutter Stevens we are just friends” Niall was completely dismissive of the idea.

“Hmmm ok” Connor said as he turned around and crawled under the covers.

“Besides” Niall continued “ I think she has a little crush on our boy Jude.”

Connor’s head snapped up.

“Wh…What really?”

“She thinks he’s cute as a button. Where does that phrase come from anyway. Are buttons cute??? I’ve never thought so.”

“So she really likes Jude then?” Connor continued to press

“I think it’s just a little crush. No big deal”

“So…so do you think he likes her?” Connor was trying to minimise the panic in his voice

“Er… No something tells me she’s not his type” Niall raised his eyebrows as he said it

“What do yo mean?” Connor was desperate for information at this point.

“I just don’t think Rachel is what Jude is looking for that’s all”

“Oh… and how do you know so much all of a sudden?”

“Don’t let the laid back exterior fool you Connie, I am actually quite perceptive….when I want to be.”

Connor turned and lay on his back staring at the ceiling. He didn’t know what he was feeling right now or what he was even supposed to be feeling.

“Okay well good night Niall”

Niall looked over, smiled slightly at Connor and chuckled to himself under his breath.

“Yeah good night buddy.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twitter @hopless_case81


	9. Playing the game

“I thought we talked about this”

“We did”

“And I thought I made my feelings on this subject clear”

“You did but come on Jude”

“No Niall! Jesus you’re obsessed! Can we just please drop it. I’ll deal with it okay”

“You know this isn’t exactly an easy position for me to be in. I mean what happens when you eventually tell Connor and he finds out I……”

“What makes you think I’m ever going to tell him?”

——————————-

 

It was early October and Jude had settled back into his routine at school with ease, he had even started cross country running this year which he found helpful when he needed to clear his head and lately that was a lot.

As he exited his last class of the day, Jude felt a hand reach out knocking his books to the floor.

“Hey you dropped something queer!” Jude recognised the voice immediately. It was Jason Peters accompanied by his sidekick Josh Reeves. The two resident bullies in their year. Luckily Jude only shared a few classes with them but that was enough.

Since everyone had returned to school in September these two seemed to have singled out Jude for some special treatment. Thankfully on this occasion the boys seemed to have somewhere better to be as they just walked off chuckling idiotically to themselves.

Jude was especially thankful when he saw his friends Ed and Andy approach down the corridor. He was desperate for nobody to find out that he was being picked on.

“Hey you okay?” Andy asked

“Yeah just dropped my books”

“Well we better hurry or we’ll be late for the match”

Connor and Aaron had both been picked for College Wood’s junior rugby team this year and today was the first real game of the season.

The boys returned to their dorm to drop off their books and then they headed out to support their friends. As the approached the pitch, Jude could make out Niall and Rachel standing on the sidelines.

Niall waved “Hey Jude over here”

As Jude approached, Niall continued “I saved you a spot”

Jude looked around confused.

“There’s barely anyone here”

It was true, a few of the students and teachers were dotted around the pitch but this was just the first junior game of the season. Hardly an event of great significance.

“Well I just knew you would want a good view is all”

Jude glared at Niall.

“So Jude didn’t expect to see you here. I didn’t think sports were your thing”

Rachel was pretty accurate, team sports had never really interested Jude. He just didn’t see the point in a bunch of guys running around chasing a ball for an hour or however long these things last. Still his friends were playing and he felt it was important to support them. Plus Connor had specifically asked if he was going to be there and of course Jude couldn’t disappoint his best friend.

“Well I’m just here to support the guys”

After a few moments the teams took to the field. Jude couldn’t help but fixate on Connor. Seeing him in his jersey and shorts stirred a lot of emotions, emotions that Jude preferred to keep buried. If anyone knew he had developed these type of feelings for his best friend they would no doubt treat him differently and Jude desperately didn’t want that.

As the game began, things would get more difficult for Jude. He had never paid much attention to rugby before, he had randomly seen some on TV on occasion but it never captured his interest. Now however, standing on the sideline he couldn’t help notice how physically brutal the game was.

Every time Connor got the ball, Jude’s entire body noticeably tensed up fearing for his best friends safety. He thought he had maintained his composure pretty well but he obviously was not as stealthy as he thought as Niall leaned in and whispered in his ear.

“Try to Relax”

Now Jude was more tense than ever. Not only was he nervous for Connor but he also had to concentrate on maintaining a calm demeanour.

The more the game went on the more difficult this became. By the end of it Jude was a nervous wreck. The relief he felt when the final whistle blew was palpable. It seemed, at least, that Connor had performed well and as he made his way off the field he he changed direction and ran across to Jude and the others.

“Nice game Connie” Niall said

“Yeah well done man” added Ed

Connor looked at Jude who didn’t say anything. He was transfixed looking at Connor. Firstly to make sure there were no visible injuries, but secondly, he couldn’t help notice how Connor looked. He was out of breath of course and his chest was visibly bouncing in and out, his hair was soaked with sweat.

It shouldn’t be appealing but Jude couldn’t take his eyes off him. It seemed that this also didn’t go unnoticed as he caught sight of Niall and Rachel sharing a look that Jude didn’t quite understand. Despite the fact that Connor was standing right in front of him obviously waiting for some sort of response, Jude was still frozen in silence.

Connor looked disappointed and Jude wanted to say…..something, to simply congratulate Connor on a good game. But for some reason he couldn’t. After a few short moments Connor said his goodbyes to the group and made his way back to the locker room looking rather dejected.

“So you guys wanna get something to eat? I’m starving” Rachel said

Everything seemed to nod in agreement except for Jude who just stood there like a statue.

“You in Jude?” she continued

“Erm actually I can’t, I’ve some stuff to take care of”

Once again Niall and Rachel shared a strange look.

“Oh okay well we’ll see you later then.”

As the gang walked off, Jude continued to stand there at the side of the pitch. His mind was racing. It was not like it was a shock that he had developed a crush on Connor, he had known this since the trip to Rome, maybe even before that, but he was desperate that nobody would find out. He definitely had to be more careful but he also needed to check to make sure Connor was okay. He hated the way he hadn’t congratulated him like the others.

Maybe that’s why 5 minutes later, he found himself standing outside the locker room waiting for a certain someone. Sure enough he didn’t have to wait long. As Connor emerged through the door, he was obviously surprised to see Jude standing there.

“Oh hi”

“Hey……I just wanted to check and make sure you were okay”

“Em…yeah. You okay? You seemed kinda quiet earlier.”

“Yeah I’m good, Sorry I just had some stuff on my mind.”

Connor just stood there nodding his head before he spoke again

“Oh hey I checked with my dad and he’s cool with me staying with you for Halloween”

Shit! Jude thought. He completely forgot that he had asked Connor if he wanted to stay with him for Halloween break. At the time it seemed like a good idea, a great idea, but now the thoughts of spending a whole week with Connor scared the shit out of him.

There were literally about a thousand ways he could fuck this up. He could horribly embarrass himself, he could lose the ability to talk again, he could stupidly let it slip that he couldn’t stop thinking about him.

As all these thoughts ran trough his head, it clearly didn’t go unnoticed by Connor who all of a sudden looked rather worried.

“I mean if that’s still okay”

Jude had to say something. Connor actually looked in physical pain.

“Oh..of course yeah. My parents would love to have you.”

Jude would just have to be on his best behaviour and try to keep his feelings under control.

Easier said than done.

 

 


End file.
